Hi there! My name is Rakshitha Varnika and I am an Engineer by profession. This blog is an attempt to rekindle and awaken the writer in me and also a medium for me to learn along the way. This is a small step I have taken in a journey to discover myself and also to enhance myself as a writer.
Perspectives
I cant help but wonder how,
The rays of sunshine, winning a battle with the clouds,
Piercing through the harsh downpour, braving the lightening,
Creates a feast for our eyes in the form of a rainbow?
How a gloomy day, whose intensions seem to be to distort our views,
Actually hightlights an etch-worthy view of the mountains at a distance?
How this screams how a much change in perspective,
Can create a completely different reminiscence of a memory?
How many lessons have I missed out on,
Relationships I might have demolished, people I left behind,
Experiences I left unrelished, sights I left unseen,
Just because my view got foggy for a little while?
Although being well aware that wanting to indulge in every experience,
Is like sowing a seed which will never grow and reach fruision,
What I mourn however are the paths I have traversed,
Failing to experience the pure joy of the journey, rather than the anticipation of the destination.
With this realization dawning on me, with a lot uncertain but a lot to look forward to,
I hope to stop and smell the roses, to look for the silver lining in the dark clouds!
I hope to keep evolving, but enjoy my current being!
I hope to trust my spark and have the patience for the fog to clear!
Significantly Insignificant
Staring at the night sky, gazing at the marvel of the stars,
Makes me realize how insignificant I am.
But the mere reality of the stars aligning, just so that I can exist,
Says a lot about how significant I actually am more than I believe!
Can I really spark the change towards a better world?
Can I, one person out of the massive crowd, actually make a difference?
Seems unlikely when I think about it, but isn’t it true that,
Every single drop makes a mighty ocean?
If I think of myself as a drop in an ocean of people,
I can be one of the drops that count!
Instead of being the drop of despair, I strive to be the drop of hope!
A drop that creates the needed ripple towards betterment!
I am significant enough to make a change!
To try and take the first step towards a better world!
I just have to be the best version of myself,
My insignificantly significant self.
The Epiphany!
A scintillating breeze creates a gentle rustle,
Filling the air all around with a sweet fragrance.
Opening my eyes, I become aware that,
I am in a warm embrace of Mother Nature herself!
Sitting upright, I look around with awe,
Rows of tulips and primroses catch my eye!
A hue of the yellow sun glistens delicately,
Reflected by the dew drops on the grass so green!
The sky so blue with clouds so fluffy,
With a hint of pink and a little bit of purple,
Reminding me of the cotton candy that I shared,
With my Paapa on a warm and sunny day.
I remember that day oh so well!
The last day of school and I filled with glee!
Hand in hand with my Paapa, a skip and hop in my stride,
Under the soothing shadows of the rows of trees so high!
How simple things were! So easy it was to retain a smile!
How easy it was experience pure happiness!
How easy it was to open my heart and live like there’s no morrow!
How easy it was to love everything around me without judgement!
My mind filled with nostalgia and my eyes welling up,
The thoughts “How I wish I could go back!” flood me.
“Why did I have to grow up so fast? Why was I in a hurry to be an adult?”
I feel my inner child waiting for a chance to burst out!
I lie back on the lush grass and wonder,
“Do I have to have it all together all time?”
“Can I let go and be free again?”
“I sure did feel happier then than I do now. Why?”
“Why do we restrict ourselves from experiencing pure joy?”
“Why don’t we do more things that make us feel alive and happy?”
“Isn’t the whole point of life to live to the fullest,”
“And not just exist according to some plan or schedule?”
I realize how less I listen to my heart in the current time,
Which I always did when I was little,
Is that the secret to true happiness?
Has it been in me to make myself happy all along?
The epiphany hits me like a jolt of lightening!
“That’s it!” I exclaim! “I know how to be happy!”
I close my eyes trying to give my heart’s voice a listen,
Feeling a sense of peace and tranquillity that’s been long overdue!
Shackled forever?
Confined by the shackles of my mind, Seems unreal that freedom existed Trying to break free from the chains But I am helplessly pulled back with a thud!
Should I call for help? Should I reach out? Will someone actually listen to me and not just hear? Will someone set me free instead of binding me further? Should I be vulnerable to obtain the breathe of air that I desperately need?
As I gasp for some positivity, All I can see is a tunnel of never ending darkness! I look hard for a glimpse of light and hope, but I feel as though all the energy has been zapped out of my senses, leaving me fatigued and helpless.
Is there no solution to this cycle? I wonder, am I the only one experiencing something like this? If not, why is there not a defined path to get rid of this trauma?
“Believe in yourself”, “Trust yourself”, “Let it go” is all I hear people say, But how can I believe in myself, when all I get is conflict and uncertainty from within? Is there nothing I can do about it?
Everyday I look myself in the mirror, Wondering if this will ever end, or will I forever be stuck wearing a mask of a smile, unable to reflect what I truly feel?!
The Reins of Love
The words from your lips,
Melts through my heart.
Even when I am aware,
That the truth is miles apart.
Is this toxic? Is this bad for me?
“How can it be”, my heart whispers
“When all you want”,
“Is to hear more of it?”
On the days you go silent,
I ache to hear your voice again.
I break a little in those moments,
Losing the essence of my being.
But the day you come around,
My heart leaps!
Like you have never been gone,
I am whole again!
You have this hold on me
That I didn’t realize
When did I surrender,
To those beautiful brown eyes?
I know the day will come,
When you leave me behind.
Like I was a shadow,
To be left in the abyss.
But till the day comes,
You know I am all yours.
With that twinkle in your eyes,
How can I resist?
“Is this what I want for me?”
I question myself.
If it is so bad and toxic,
Why is it that I crave for more?
I have gone in so deep,
It feels impossible to breathe.
Without your presence,
My whole world crumbles!
Is it ever possible,
That I can live without you?!
Maybe I can if I try,
But do I really want to?
My heart wrenches
At the thought of being away!
From the warmth of your embrace!
And the reins of your love!
The Magic of Music
The feeling of being comforted and grounded. The motivation to take it one day at a time. The realization of the love for our parents. The memory of an old flame. The memory of being in love. The memory of a heartbreak. The memory of the good old 90’s era. The memory of that rainy day that made you feel every droplet as it hit the ground. The memory of a rainbow that brought a smile on your face on a bad day. The memory of the kind smile of a stranger. The memory of the fulfilling feeling of contentment after a selfless good deed. The memory of the first kiss. The memory of the first touch. The memory of the trip you took with your college friends. The memory of the tension filled atmosphere of the exam season. The memory of the fragrance of the soil just before it rains. The memory of feeling all alone in the crowd. The memory of the few friends whom you trust and are grateful for. The memory of your long distant loved one. The memory of an almost. The memory of mixed emotions. The memory of feeling distraught. A sense of satisfaction with what we have. The encouragement to aspire for more. The feeling that there is no point to anything. The feeling that its the little things that matter the most. The feeling of home. The memory of the sweet scent of flowers on a beautiful spring morning. The memory of the leaf crunch during fall. The feeling of just being you, looking out the window of a fast moving train.
All these memories and sense of warmth hidden in a masterpiece of a melody, which has the power to change your mood completely. Music truly has its own way of making each of us feel and this very uniqueness is what draws us all into its arms.
ISRO, take a bow!!
One of the hot topics in the news these days is the Chandrayaan 2, and rightly so. We have attempted to explore our natural satellite in depth by soft landing on it, a feat which requires a very high precision in it’s execution. In my opinion, the Chandrayaan 2 mission has achieved way more than scientific advancements. As a space fanatic myself, I have closely followed it’s progress. Along the way, I have realised that we have not only added another feather to our cap in the field of science, but there’s more to it.
In a diverse country such as India, it is quite rare to expect a collective unanimous desire. But during the pivotal wee hours of September 7th 2019, this unanimity was seen and how! Every citizen of the country praying for the exact same thing, success of the mission which would put us as the 4th country to have soft landed on the moon. With all that has been going on, political differences, environmental concerns and the dip in economy, it was really pleasant to see this unity among us. Thank you ISRO for bringing us together!
As we waited with bated breath, the first 3 stages toward the crucial landing being successful, the communication was lost with the Vikram lander, just a few minutes before it’s landing. Even during this emotional and critical moment, everyone was and still is filled with praises for ISRO. As our neighbor began the hate comments and labelled it as a failure on social platforms, all of us stood up against it and felt protective about our country, extending our full support. This is a true illustration of nationalism that is etched in everyone of us. Thank you ISRO for making us realise that all we need to do to overcome hatred is to stand up against it together.
It’s unimaginable what we can achieve if we tackle the challenges in front us with the same sense of togetherness and unanimity. Is it really that hard to see the bigger picture? We didn’t hesitate one bit to do so for Chandrayaan 2, then we surely can apply the same to overcome anything that comes in our way to become a better nation. We are constantly climbing up the steps of progress but there are times when stagnancy is encountered, resulting in setbacks. But there isn’t anything that we cannot overcome if we are united. For bringing upon us this realisation, and also for all the missions executed and upcoming missions planned, ISRO truly deserves all the respect and it definitely is the pride of our nation!
What cooking has taught me
Cooking. Some people boast of it as a hobby, some pursue it as a profession, for some it’s a mere necessity for survival. For me, it started off as a necessity which slowly turned to a hobby of sorts. You know when it has turned in to a hobby when you start having ideas and enjoy experimenting. But the overall process of cooking is a lesson in itself. The patience involved in the process is crucial to the outcome. Not every experiment is a success. But we never stop trying do we? Remember baking your first cake? Being proud of the fact that you tried and knowing that you will get better with practice? Isn’t this is a perfect example of ‘Practice makes perfect’? Doesn’t prepping for a dish so that it can be done quickly hint at how we can increase our efficiency by being prepared? And of course the contentment experienced when the final outcome is a success is a feeling that cannot be described. A freshly baked chocolate cake, a hot cup of tea, a delicate cookie crumble. The mere thought of them fills us up with joy and also encourage us to give cooking a shot. Its as simple as that actually. Having a vision of what you want to achieve is the first step to begin with. And based on the vision, we can pave a path that would help to accomplish our visions, quite similar to following a recipe for a dish you desire or crave for. You also realise that something self made has much more value than getting it from an outside source. Have you ever felt proud ordering in food from a nearby restaurant? I think not. But the feeling of baking a cake or making panner butter masala on your own is unmatched. So much wisdom in the skill of cooking? Who knew right?
Remember when..
Remember when we used to laugh till our bellies hurt? Remember when an evening stroll to get ice cream or permission to stay an hour after bedtime could instill happiness within us? Remember when this happiness actually sustained for the rest of the night and you went to bed smiling and content with the day? Remember when the only competition that mattered was who could chug a glass of milk among siblings and friends the fastest? Remember the feel of triumph when you actually won? Remember when you weren’t afraid to fail and try again if you did? Remember the transition from the simple pencil to a pen in school which changed our perception that we could erase our mistakes and start over? Remember the pure joy when the landline phone rang? And it was your best friend with some gossip? Remember the candies we used to enjoy for 50 paise? Remember playing Mario on multiplayer with your siblings or parents? Losing a life meant the never ending wait till the other player loses a life! Frustrating wasn’t it? Remember when Tom and Jerry had us in splits? Remember when we had a half day at school and we would come back home to hot food and our favorite cartoons? Remember dancing to Michael Jackson hits? Swooning to the Backstreet boys? Remember when you were tired of your curfews and restrictions? Remember when you couldn’t wait to grow up? Remember when you just wanted to move out of home so that you can have your own privacy? Well here I am, all grown up. And guess what? You have no idea what I wouldn’t give to go back a stage and relive them all!
We are all so eager to move ahead, planning for the days to come, that we forget to live in the moment. Stop for a while. Live today. Be aware of your every breath. Take time out for the things that actually bring you joy. Follow your passion. Take that holiday you have been planning. Tell that person you love them. Take risks. Take time to see your parents. Meet your old friends. Seize the moment. Its these memories that stay with us and keep us going.
Why F.R.I.E.N.D.S is the best TV show ever
Firstly, to be honest before I actually started watching F.R.I.E.N.D.S in the order of its seasons(I used to watch random episodes on comedy central before, I KNOW!), I was of the opinion that it was highly overrated. But I was in for a pleasant surprise! It turned out to be a beautiful depiction of how the quirks in a personality can actually mean a good thing and set a person apart. It is these quirks that made me relate to the premiss of the show more than anything else. With Monica being obsessed with structure and cleanliness, Chandler’s way of shielding himself with humour, Ross always arguing how he is a real doctor, Rachel’s journey from being a brat who has it all to an independent and self made woman and Joey, well being Joey. These are the quirks that are seen in the vast majority of the people which makes it appealing to the masses. F.R.I.E.N.D.S feels like a hug when I am down, makes me happier when I am elated, calms me down when I am stressed, urges me to be the best version of myself when I am demotivated. In short, F.R.I.E.N.D.S is great for any mood! From the witty limericks and remarks, that never fail to bring out gales of laughter, to the thoughtful gestures which brings tears rolling down my eyes, this show has got it all. With each character’s personality blending in together to make a perfect recipe for a masterpiece, it will probably always be a favourite of mine. And yes a binge watch of this amazing TV show marks a perfect weekend for me hands down and I am sure quite a lot of people will agree with me.
Image credits: https://wallpapercave.com/
Thinking out Loud 